12 May 2008

Finally, The Revolution Has Something To Crow About!

Happy Monday!

This is Cuba Nostalgia week so it will be a short blogging week for La Contra Revolución since I’ll be at the babalú booth most of the weekend.

Since we’re in a festive mode, let’s try to have some fun for the rest of the week. That means no rants.

As most you know, Fidel Cowstro is famous for his failed, yet very comical, agricultural experiments especially those involving cows. He tried to mix the Cebu and Holstein cow breeds to engineer the perfect stake and shake producing Elsie, he once even tried to air condition the heads of Belgian Holstein cows so that the cows would think that they were in their cool Belgian climate and produce more milk. Then there’s Fidel’s mini-cow plan in which he wanted to genetically engineer a mini family cow that could be kept as a pet by Cuban families and produce a gallon of milk a day…and a few aromatic cow patties to boot!

Now, I don’t know if now that Fidel is “retired” if he has more time to “wander the countryside” and pay more attention to his love for livestock engineering, but evidence from Cuba suggests that he may be secretly working on creating a “super” chicken to solve the food crisis in Cuba and world-wide because as we all know, Fidel cares.

This form Juventud Sumiza:

In Camaguey, Cuba: Chicken Born with Four Legs

A chicken with four legs was born in the backyard of Pedro Sánchez Hernández, in the Saratoga neighborhood of this city.

A four legged chicken!

Finally, the Revolution has something to crow about!

Imagine the possibilities! Feeding more people with one chicken. No more fighting over the drumstick.

And this revolutionary four-legged fowl can out run any Yankee imperialist CIA mercenary trying to catch to deny the revolution its greatest triumph.

In the wrong hands, such a creature could be used to fuel the orgy of conspicuous spending that characterizes the exploited and oppressed masses that live in societies that have been poisoned by the evil American hegemony of consumerism. Global corporations like Mc Donald’s and KFC would no doubt use these four legged chickens to drive up their profits and pollute the veins of the unsuspecting consumers with cholesterol to create a market for the multi-national pharmaceutical companies, the heartless health care industry that won’t treat the sick unless they have insurance and the oligarchs in the medical profession.

In the right hands, in the hands of the revolution, such a marvel would, of course be used to solve humanity’s problems because that’s the what the revolution is all about: societal problem solving: it’s been 50 years and they’re just getting warmed up.

Of course, the regime is trying to downplay Fidel’s significant achievement as a freak of nature, but we veteran Fidel watchers know better:

These malformations are the consequence of alterations in the bird’s chromosomes, with the probability of this happening again being in the range of one in several thousands, explained Alex Resillez Pujal, an assistant professor of Surgery and Anatomy of the faculty of Agricultural Sciences at the University of Camagüey.

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