27 February 2008

The Beatification Of Raúl

It has already started.

Raúl is being beatified, the first step to the same Sainthood which his older half-brother, Saint Fidelis the Anti-Yankee, achieved.

Fidel, achieved Sainthood by being the proverbial thorn on the side of the United States, for his stubbornness, and for the unwavering commitment to his totalitarian principles that allowed him to survive 10 American presidents. He is also credited with the miracles of free education and healthcare and for driving the snakes from Cuba to little Havana where they still hiss, loudly, between domino games and fixing elections, at the very mention of his name. He’s the patron saint of executioners, terrorists, drug traffickers, organized crime made men, the excommunicated, bastards, liars and self loathing Americans.

Though Raúl shares some of Fidel’s qualities, his path to sainthood is a divergent one. One that will take him in the exact opposite direction, but still move left-I don’t get it myself, but I left the Cult of the Absurd a long time ago and I’m not up on its dialectic err... I mean catechism.

Saint Raúl the Pragmatic’s saintly qualities lie in his ability listen to criticism, to be practical, flexible and drink an Italian Cardinal under the table-behind closed doors.

Here is a small testimony from one of the faithful on Raúl’s saintly ways from the Cult of the Absurd’s official news organization, The New York Times:

HAVANA, Cuba - In his first state reception as Cuba's president, Raúl Castro met Tuesday with the secretary of state of the Vatican, a traditional enemy of communism and a critic of Cuba's record on human rights.

Castro's decision to begin his tenure by meeting the Vatican's top diplomat, Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, a possible go-between with the United States and Europe, reflects his practical, no-nonsense style as well as his willingness to put ideology aside to
achieve his goals.

WOW. He’s well on his way. Now all they have to do is fabricate, err… I mean document two miracles and he’s in.

Maybe be it’s me, because I’m a heretic who left the coven err… I mean Church, but putting ideology – principles- aside, to achieve one’s goals is exactly what the heretics and hissing snakes despise about the Cult of the Absurd. It’s that whole the ends justify the means thing. It doesn’t mater what you do in order to achieve your miracles, what’s important is achieving them. Like St. Fidelis, he achieved “free” education and healthcare-sans toilet paper- but at what price?

These saints in the Cult of the Absurd will do whatever it takes to achieve their goal-absolute power. They don’t care about the consequences or about who suffers. All that matters is perpetuating the rule of the Cult of the Absurd and its atheist inquisition. If it means shaking hands and lying to a Cardinal, so be it.

It’s up to the faithful scribes in the press to spread the gospel of the absurd and tell the world about the acts of the Cuban saints to attract more converts to the Cult of the Absurd.
Be on the lookout for the upcomming miracles of Saint Raúl the Pragmatic.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yes hes on his way alright lol straight to hell.