19 October 2007

The Hispanic Luncheon

In my office they have luncheons. Holiday luncheons, birthday luncheons, anniversary luncheons, retirement luncheons, you name it luncheons.

Since this month is “Hispanic Heritage Month”, thanks to that Cuban hero, Ronald Reagan, we’re having a “Hispanic Luncheon”. Oh Joy!

I’m technically not Hispanic, but since I am Cuban that makes me Hispanic-go figure.

So, the nice lady from personnel asks me if I’m bringing in a dish for the Hispanic Luncheon and I don’t want to so I tell her I might bring in some guarapo-cane juice- and she grimaces. Then I suggest bringing in some Materva-bien fria sabe a sidra-and she gets annoyed.

Then, the not so nice lady anymore from personnel suggests that I bring in some items from Cuba and I regretfully inform her that I wasn’t able to bring any mementos on the boat since we only had room for water, shark repellent and my little sister and even though I would have gladly traded some trinkets for my little sister, my mother wouldn’t let me. For the record, I was just messing with the nice personnel lady-I’m an only child and I came on a plane. She sighs.

Undaunted and in retaliation, she suggests I put together a cultural exhibit. “That’s a great Idea!,” I say. “ I can show people what life in Cuba is like” “I can make little food rationing cards” “Limit them to half a spoon of whatever there is” “Make them wait in line for an hour-in the Sun-while they listen to a Fidel Castro speech” “And if they complain, they get thrown in the supply closet” Panic.

“Do you have any Cuban Music?” I was going to say “Yeah! I Got Porno Para Ricardo”, but told her I could probably get my hands on a Celia Cruz CD.

Hey, when you learn how to get around one of the most repressive systems on Earth, getting out of participating in the “Hispanic Luncheon” is “panetela”.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Burn! Though I feel bad for her, I am glad you did that. I am tired of getting treated like an exotic creature everytime it comes out I am Cuban. Thanks for all the times I got asked about it.....:)

Amy said...

But does shark repellent really work?

You could take the new Gloria cd, to see how much controversy you can cause . . . maybe you'll be arrested by the secret police.

How did October become "Hispanic Heritage Month"?

Marta said...

And where exactly is Hispania?? I've never met anyone from there. =D

Anonymous said...

You are correct in saying the Cubans (cuban americans especially those that look like the hard liners - the white ugly ones) are NOT hispanic. You are your own sick species.