18 October 2007

IKEA

I know how to bring down Castro's tyranny.

Open an IKEA.

Thats all it takes for society to collapse.

We get IKEA to open a store in Guanabacoa. We make offers of free chairs , free t-shirts and set up a ferry from Miami for the grand opening.

On the day of the grand opening. An invasion. Millions of people with nothing better to do than flock to IKEA grand openings will descend on Havana.

The regime will have to provide security-especially to keep the Cubans out of the IKEA-Chaos.
Pandemonium. Collapse. Free T-shirts.

One of these stores opened up down the road from me a-ways- that's how they say down the street in Davie.

I can't get home. When I finally got home. I'm trapped. Chaos, pandemonium, societal collapse, cop cars, freaks, free T-shirts, free chairs! Exiled, AGAIN.

I could have walked over to the IKEA to see what the fuss is all about, but I have my pride.

I stayed home to watch Maria Elvira. She wasn't there. Bummer! Some guy whose name I can't pronounce was.

Then, Maria Elvira came on - via satellite- from LA. She was wearing an evening gown. I'm glad I didn't go to IKEA!

Anyways, to make a long story, longer. The guy whose name I can't pronounce had the "mother" of the little girl they want to send back to Cuba.

NOW she says she wants her daughter to stay in the US. NOW she has realized that this would be best for her daughter. NOW she says that she's willing to testify to that. NOW she says that the father's lawyers fabricated evidence and lied in court. NOW she says that the father's family is politically well connected in Cuba and she was afraid not to support his bid for custody. NOW she says that they told her Joe Cubas was an evil person who became a millionaire by participating in human trafficking. NOW she claims that she was hoping the girls father, once in Miami, would have stayed. NOW she says that the girl's father only wants the little girl as another political trophy for Fidel. NOW she admits to having committed perjury.

I should have gone to IKEA.

3 comments:

Amy said...

jajajajaja
That was rad!

El Gusano said...

you laugh at my misfortune. at my "insile" within an exile

Marta said...

Rei-
We have an IKEA a mere 25 drive from here(which means it would only be 10 minutes away, except for the traffic, and I have taken a vow never to go there on weekends, but that's not important right now).

I love your idea! Surely the colas for the free chairs would snake all along the length of the island creating mass confusion and the collapse of the last bastion of communism in this hemisphere. We'll call it. . . The IKEA Invasion.

But let me get this straight. . .
the poor mother of the little girl has been stuck with her head in a hole for the past year?? So sad.