25 May 2007

The Reflecting Tyrant

Granma’s chief blogger’s latest post has made quite a stir in the American press.

Fidel himself has confirmed what was reported about his delicate health situation and near death back in December of last year. So now it’s official. Now that one of the greatest B.S. Artists on the planet has said it, it is gospel.

Either Fidel or whoever wrote the latest post must have realized how ridiculous it is to claim that he is so recuperated, and not show his face in public. So they explain it away as Fidel being too busy “reflecting” to take care of his personal hygiene:

For the present, I do not have time for films and photos that require me to constantly trim my hair, beard and moustache, and to get dressed up every day.

This bit of BS isn’t too hard to swallow since the personal hygiene challenged tyrant was nicknamed “bola de churre” (dirt ball) in his days at the Belen prep-school. If you’re going to lie, better to make it somewhat plausible.

The Sun-Sentinel, trying to make a story out of a pile of bull crap, went out to interview the man on the street, Juan Q. Cuban , as it where. And bless them, they found a 33 year old construction worker named, get this ….., Ho Chi Ming Alvarez, (his brother Mao Tse Tung Alvarez wasn’t available), who had this to say:

"He will appear at some point if not this year, then the next. The important thing is that he has gotten through the worst."

Maybe at a funeral, who knows, Ho?

Castro is also quoted as writing this:

"For now, I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, reflecting and writing about questions that I judge of certain importance and transcendence,"

Make no mistake, those are the reflexive words of a man worrying about meeting his maker.(or Ho Chi Ming)

Godspeed, Comandante.

Ho Chi Ming Alvarez…hahahahahahahaha

3 comments:

Charlie Bravo said...

The "sharp" journo didn't notice that Ho Chi Ming Alvarez was pulling his leg with that name!

El Gusano said...

i can't stop laughing...

Marta said...

I can't believe he's using that tired old I-have-no-time-for-grooming excuse - that's soo Seattle grunge.
And can you really take someone seriously who's mother chose to name him "Ho?"
This is pure Cuban comedy. =D