02 February 2007

We’re all going to Die!

Forget Florida being invaded with refugees caused by a mass exodus from Cuba once Fidel dies, we’ve got way bigger problems than that, really.

According to a UN report and This Sun Sentinel Article, we’re doomed.

A much-debated U.N. report on climate change to be released today raises the specter of rising sea levels and hurricanes that could eventually swamp much of South Florida.

Specifically, experts are looking at predictions of sea level rise over the next 50 years from 2 feet to 10 feet.

"At that point, forget about Everglades restoration ... Most of this area is maybe 10 feet above sea level, so if you're talking about a 10-foot rise, and rising tide on top of that, then it's all over."

Whole article here

Everglades Restoration?!? Dude, my house is the red zone! Who cares about that stinky swamp being restored? Why? So it can stink more than it already does? I care about my house and my mango tree.

..and speaking of raising specters:

Needless to say, I was suicidal upon reading this. That is, until I read a Miami Herald article about the Castro- Chavez summit in Havana. All my fears melted when I read that Fidel, not only has been walking, phoning orders and almost jogging, but has also been studying Global Warming in his spare time, according to Emperor Chavez.

Chávez: Castro is looking better

''He has gained several kilograms, and I think he is walking about more than me,
analyzing, studying,'' Chávez told a news conference.

Chávez said Castro has taken to studying climate change and sent him a book on the topic. ''He is doing a master's degree on climate change,'' Chávez said.

"I think he knows more than all the scientists.''

He also knows more than all the Doctors, Economists, Psychologists, Professors, Generals, Meterologists, etc.

So now that the all-knowing dictator is working on climate change, we can all take a breath of relief since given his problem solving track record Global Warming will be totally …….

OK I’m off to buy an inflatable raft


Jungle Mom said...

Well , the asemblea did grant him "poderes especiales".;) Maybe he can do all things!!

El Gusano said...

yea, evil satanic superpowers like a demon.