08 October 2006

Stealth Cessnas Evade Cuban Defenses

A $78,000 Cessna 172 was stolen from an airport in Marathon, FL (that’s in the Florida Keys).

Now, this plane turned up a few days (Friday) later in Veradera, Cuba (no clue where this is and I'm too lazy to open up google earth)after having landed there with "mechanical problems".

But, the following Wednesday the Cuban government said that there was nothing wrong with the plane. The plane was allegedly stolen (hey, innocent until proven guilty unless you’re last name is posada) by some dude named Randall Franklin who calls himself Feil, but everyone knows him as Randy.

Now I’m just wondering. Was that a stealth Cessna? Didn’t the crack Aerofueurza Rebelde or whatever goofy but very official sounding name they call themselves notice that a plane straight out of the belly of the Empire ruled by the Devil Himself was landing in their country?!?

What kind of totalitarians are these? Totallycluelessterians? This is really getting bizarre. Go fast boats pick up escaping Cubans at will, Cessnas land in Veradera. Next thing you know, people are gonna catch on that they’re clueless and start ignoring them. Take to streets and demand toilet paper.

Yes, toilet paper. There is no toilet paper in Cuba. After 47 years of promises and programs and mobilizations and trainings and demonstrations and 7 hour speeches, there still isn’t any toilet paper!

Maybe the Cessna pilot was in reality a CIA mercenary toilet paper smuggler who was on a secret mission to corrupt the Cuban youth with some decadent toilet paper?

Update: El Zorro informs me that toilet paper is available "sometimes" but that it is one ply.

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